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Why aren't you just honest once????

For a short time in my life I was very happy. It was the time when I felt Süleyman's love.

It is normal to me to cry and to fall asleep with tears in my eyes. I'm not able to laugh or to smile. I'm not able to feel joy and happiness. I'm full of hate against everything and everyone around me. I'm coldhearted. Just to protect me from this life. I can't give love when I will never be loved. It hurts me to see like everyone is happy. And so I rather stay in silence and loneliness.

I have accepted to be never happy. That's my destiny. That's my life. My love for Süleyman will never die and so I've learned to live with the pain in my heart.

I always just tried to become happy. But I also know I'm not allowed to be happy. LIFE IS NOT FAIR....

Now I know why I'm the way I am. I'm one of the 5% of HSP's (highly sensitive persons). I feel more than others. I love more than others. And I withdraw me more than others. That's the reason why I'm not angry. But that's also the reason why time can never heal me. I just build walls around me. I'm just sad all the time. But what all this deep feelings good for when there's nobody to give to?

9.7.17 02:23


There is no single day when I do not miss you....
I love you so much...

Can't we just be happy together? YOU and ME?????? Together? In love? For a lifetime????????

You're a fool if you still believe you're not good for me.
You're the love of my life. The only one I will always love.
You're the only one who can conjure up this special smile in my face.... I LOVE YOU, SÜLEYMAN!!!!!!

18.5.17 16:21


Only your love can heal me!!!!!!!

It seems the whole world is against me.
I'm not doing well. I don't want to live anymore. Because my love will never end. Because the pain in my heart will never end. Because I always cry for you.
Yesterday I collapsed. And I hope the next time I will not wake up again.
I would need you so much right now. Just to give you my love and to get your love. But I'm not so important to you than you are to me.... I just want your love. I need your love so much. But all I have is rejection, silence and loneliness....

I'm not like other girls. Love means for me forever....

The burden of this life is too much for me! I'm tired and exhausted. I don't want to have to live anymore...

28.4.17 08:46


No life is better than this life....

You don't dare to be with me, but I can't be without you.

I'd rather be dead than to suffer longer. Than to cry every day. Than to be without you. I hate this life....

My life is over before it really started. I never had a real chance to give love and to get love. I would never again expect to be loved. I can't anymore. And I don't want anymore... I'm afraid. I'm fucking afraid.... I just wanted to be happy....

30.03.

I don't laugh, I can't sleep, I don't talk.
And I don't know how long I still can stand this...
I'm broken without you but
I still love you...

Why don't you take a little bit courage and tell me that you love me? Make me happy again! Give me a reason to smile again and to love this life again, honey! I miss you so much and I will always love you.....

Haven't you written "Важна лишь взаимная любовь."? Why don't you just show me???  I just want to be happy again....

But I cry every day because I miss you so much. I've lost everything All I still have is a heart that loves you very much. Because I will never stop to love you....

19.4.17 17:25


;-(

In a world where everyone expects from me to smile I built my own world.
A world with silence and loneliness.
A world where nobody laughs about my tears.
A world where nobody laughs about my love for you.
That's my way to endure this life.
That's my way to live without love.
In my world I protect me from other people.
Because nobody can come close to me there. NOBODY.
Because nobody can replace YOU!!!!!! NOBODY!!!!!!!

18.3.17 21:41


Seni seviyorum......

I don't smile anymore because I miss you too much for this. You miss me, you love me, you want to hear me - but you don't want me to come to you. I will never understand...

But I just want to be happy - with you! With the man I love and who loves me.

A big hug from you could do what time will never do - it would heal me. It would make me so happy... to hear your voice, to see your smile, to feel your closeness.

That is the only thing that can make me happy. That's all I really need, honey. YOU!!!

I love you, Süleyman.

13.3.17 19:09


I love you!

I will never be happy without you....

I have to accept a life with tears and pain...


 

22.02.17

I love you and you love me.
Together we can be happy - no matter in which country on this earth.
I would come everywhere - as long as you're there.
Let's be happy together!! I will never stop to love you.
To be happy with you would be the greatest for me.

I hope everyday to hear from you... please don't let me wait longer.

It's not weakness when you correct a mistake. It's a sign of strength. You're the love of my life. And this will never change. NEVER!!!!! We should enjoy our lives together.... Come on!!! Do not leave me alone for the rest of my life...

9.3.17 18:07


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